


'..never experianced a fear like this..'

by IndianMagic



Category: Dean/Cas - Fandom, Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: I'm so sorry i haven't updated recently (to the few who've bookmarked), M/M, My First Fanfic, i've just been swamped with work and exams and frankly i'm terrified of ruining it.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:15:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndianMagic/pseuds/IndianMagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What started as an ordinary night in the bunker became revolutionised history for Dean. </p>
<p>As Cas opens his eyes through a different lens, Dean begins to feel and experience new emotions forcing him to explore possibilities and acknowledge who he really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Pass me a beer, Sam" said an exhausted Dean, who has slept maybe four hours in the last three days. 

Sam, who wasn't as tired after sleeping in the Impala gingerly placed Dean's beer in front of him on the table in the bunker, and went to sit down. An agitated Dean spontaneously picked it up and walked to his bedroom, smiling as he hollered "Good night, Sammy". His room always made him happier no matter what mood. A place to call his own was enough to push out the temporary bad in his life. 

As he undid the laces on his boots and took off his coat he heard the famous flutter of wings behind him. A wave of security drenched him knowing his angel was watching over him. Continuing what he was doing without turning around he said "heya, Cas". Cas let out an innocent little smile. He could feel how comfortable and happy Dean was and it filled the angel up with glee. 

"Hello, Dean", fell off of Castiel's raspy tone. "Was the hunt today successful? 

"I'm alive, aren't I?" Dean stated more that asked; still through a mild smile.

Cas noticed his upper right arm was blood-soaked as he removed another layer of plaid. Before saying anything he placed his hand on Dean, intently staring at his would and filled the air with his grace before repairing Dean.

Dean wasn't aware of Castiel's touch, so as soon as he felt the pain wash away he stood up and turned around in shock. Cas still had his palm on Dean's lower shoulder, intensely staring him in the eye. Dean awkwardly let out a "thanks, Cas" that's was barely a whisper. He had no idea what had come over him but he was completely and utterly lost in the blue of Castiel's eyes. This was a new feeling for Dean and he was thoroughly terrified. 

The two of them stood, faces 20cm apart, just looking at each other. Studying the features of the other. 

Hell, if I'd've studied like this in high school if probably be a doctor. Well.. Dr. Sexy MD. Dean thought, sniggering at his false vanity. 

Castiel slowly brought his hand away from Dean's arm and placed it on his hip. Dean was scared and confused, but strangely.. Curious. 

He took a small step towards Cas, bringing their bodies millimetres apart. Their breathing intensified and so did Dean's fear. He had fought in the apocalypse, been mauled in hell and confronted Death himself, but he never experienced a fear like this. 

Cas brought up his hand and grazed Dean's chiseled jaw with it, causing Dean to tremble and shiver. It felt like hours had passed but it had been only a couple of minutes. 

Cas slowly pushed his face nearer to Dean and Dean did the same. Feeling each others moist breath they finally became one and Dean was still  
Utterly terrified. 

Cas had his eyes closed and was lost in the tender moment yet Dean had his eyes open in shock. He hadn't quite let go yet. He put his left hand on the small of Cas' back, and his right hand on his hip

Breaking the kiss to breath, he looked Cas in the eye.

One, two, three. 

He was straight back in there, letting it happen. Eyes closed and lost in the moment, they started playing tennis with their tongues. And Dean liked it. 

He was so confused. He was a heterosexual man. But he was kissing another man. And he had never taken so much pleasure in a kiss. 

He finally concluded to figure all of this out when he was alone. He couldn't let a passionate moment like this slip by and waste it in his own head.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Minutes had past and Dean was gone. Truly absorbed into the kiss. 

This was a new feeling for Cas too but it was different for Dean. Cas had done the best he could to comprehend his love for Dean.. In the most human way an angel ever has. 

For dean it was different. 

All of these feeling had suddenly risen to the surface. Ever since their first encounter Dean has always been curious about Cas. Whenever Cas was intently reading him he would always try his hardest to return the favour and re-read the enigma that is Castiel. 

It wasn't just their tongues doing the exploring, their hands were out of control. 

Dean's palms caressing Castiel's gentle cheeks whilst his pelvis was increasingly grinding; any previous caution to the moment gone. Cas' hands running over Dean's sides and just under the hem of his shirt. Boiling fingertips tracing his abdomen. 

This was a new experience for Castiel also. He was experiencing a rebellious type of fear. He had no idea of the consequences for fraternising with a human charge; but even then Dean was worth it. He knew in the moments of raising Dean from perdition that his soul fit like a puzzle piece with his. 

Dean was losing it; his testosterone completely in charge, pushed Cas against a wall. Gas was thrown into their fire of passion because everything was burning up. 

Dean had never experienced such a moment that he hoped it would carry on forever. And throughout that thought Sam entered the room with his furrowed brow, holding in one hand a mug of coffee and in the other his laptop, exposing their next case.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In a moment of shock and confusion Sam dropped his coffee causing a smash, and staining Dean's cream carpet with black. 

Brought out of their moment Dean spun around, guiltily looking at Sam. Cas still standing with his back against the wall looking helpless. 

"Uh.. " shuffled out of Sam's wide jaw. He was suspended in the moment unable to speak or move. He had always noticed something a little more than platonic in Dean and Cas' relationship but he put that down to their profound bond. 

Dean, mirroring his younger brother's reaction managed to also spew a few nonsense words. 

Castiel was feeling the increased awkwardness of the situation and executively decided to intervene. 

"Hello, Sam. The event that just took place may confuse you, but let me assure you we are equally confused."

Sam transferred his wide-eyed face to Cas and managed to regain motion. "Uh... I'm really sorry guys, oh, my god. To which he awkwardly picked up the shards of his mug and and scram through the bedroom door, closing it behind him. In the moments of collecting his thoughts he placed the back of his head on Dean's door, eyes still wide, jaw still collapsed and deeply exhaled.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After their previous encounter Dean knew that any future conversation with Sam couldn't match up to the awkwardness of the 'conversation' they just had. 

For a few seconds after Sam left, Dean stood there, hand firmly on the back of his neck out of anguish, before he started nervously pacing around his room, disguising it for Cas to make it look like he was searching for something. 

With nothing left to comprehend he threw his blood-stained shirt to the coffee stained carpet in distress and used his feet to mop it up. 

He didn't know what to say to Sammy. Am I gay? He thought before scoffing as if the idea was completely absurd. 

Castiel let out a laugh. He could read Dean like book and the idea of Dean having such a though after what happened just moments ago was humorous to him. 

"It's okay, Dean. Sam won't love you any less."

Again, Dean scoffed in an unconvincing manner; he wasn't as good an actor as he thought. Cas approached Dean and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Looking slightly up at him he said, "go talk to Sam." And vanished before Dean's eyes. 

Dean was used to Cas' abrupt exits but something about this time made Dean's eyes glossy with moisture. In the corner of Dean's mind he felt like Cas should have stayed. Stayed there for him in his time of mental crisis. Of course Cas never would have figured that out. He was clearly developing human traits but this is a flaw most humans suffer with so to expect intuition from Cas was unfair. 

At Dean's lowest, when he finally found the courage to confront Sam about the night's earlier events he heard the flutter. His flutter. Cas had returned. 

Before he had even found the time to turn and face him, his confident angel had grappled his arm and pulled him towards him. "I'm sorry, Dean. I shouldn't've left you like tha-"

Dean shut him up with his tongue, the passionate force of a pressure wash, and pushed him onto his bed. 

Quickly *bolting his door this time* - he could talk to Sam another day, - he pushed Cas onto his bed with force, homoerotic subtext finally catching up with him. 

Cas showed some concern for Dean and morally had to ask, "are you sure?" To which Dean replied, "try me, Angel." Resulting in Dean pouncing on top of an already immobilised Cas and resuming their ridiculously hungry kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

Dean's single size bed was surprising big enough to withhold Dean and Cas as they rolled around the bed, dissolved by the kiss. 

Without thinking Dean slid the trench coat off of his angel's shoulders, comfortably laying underneath Cas between his straddling legs. 

Castiel took this a a sign to proceed and began unbuckling Dean's belt. Confused by how complicated he found it to undo, he tilted his head to the side and stared at Dean through his furrowed eyebrows. 

Dean chuckled, sat up and threw his face at Cas' neck, sending kisses; his tongue dancing concentric circles whilst helping Cas in the chore of undoing his belt. 

Cas' eyes rolled into the back of his head as soon as Dean worked his way up to his jaw. His neck had given out and sloped backwards as if of all of his strength had been stolen and he let Dean's power take him away, letting out a quiet groan in the process. 

Dean refused to let his head dominate him. He did what Dean does best and listened to his heart. At that moment Dean was completely comfortable with what he was doing. Sure, there were future repercussions to think about but he was having fun! And hell, when Dean's happy and having fun you know the universe has done its job right. 

Dean removed his shirt, followed by his pants and moved in on Cas' lips. Throughout their exchange in saliva Cas carefully removed the rest of his clothes until they were both opposite each other on Dean's bed, barely clothed, enjoying the good & forgetting the bad.

Cas, in his oversized blue boxers and Dean wearing slim green ones with black socks mutually moved into a more accessible position. 

At this point Castiel had an erection and didn't know what to do with it. He looked down at his bulging, puffy boxer shorts and proceeded to look at Dean with a childish, simplistic expression. 

Love was new to Cas but he had always loved his father and brothers in a familial way so it wasn't obscure. This on the other hand? It was so deliciously human that Cas was struggling to comprehend it. 

Dean released his adorable smile before realising that Cas was in fact an angel and how confused his puppy-like partner must be. He took it upon himself dominate this experience. Of course it was scarily new to him also, but thinking about Cas? His little virgin angel? Only recently discovering the pleasure of food and warm water? It was too obviously Dean's responsibly.


End file.
